FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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