a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
