ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
