i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
