New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
