This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
