Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
