dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
