So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
