Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
