I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
