My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
