He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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