Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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