Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
