Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
