i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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