Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
only if we run a train.
done.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
