69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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