My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
