Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
