you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
