In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
