we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
