My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
