I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
