so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
