no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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