Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
