Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Randomize
