BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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