i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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