I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
