So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
