David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
my being single is dangerous.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
