it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
