glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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