Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
