Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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