Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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