i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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