So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
