no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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