i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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