Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
