You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I did not marry a roomba.
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