I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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