I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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