she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i just sent this text using only my big toe
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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