every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
