ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
