Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
